Feeling very bummed…

My daughter has been going back and forth between wanting to homeschool this year and public schooling. She attended public school until 6th grade, and from second grade on it wasn’t the best of experiences. In fact, after 6th she BEGGED me to homeschool.

So we homeschooled last year. I thought it was going ok…….

Then at Thanksgiving, she was at her uncles (her Dad’s brother).

Just for the record, her Dad and I have not been together for a LONG time. He used to take her every other weekend, sometimes every weekend.

Then his newest girlfriend got pregnant and they got married. A year or so later, things changed. He hardly ever took my daughter for visits, and didn’t buy birthday presents, although he still thought of her at Christmas.

Now she hasn’t seen him in over a year, and no presents nor word from since.

Until Thanksgiving…..as I said she was visiting Dad’s family (except Dad) when Dad called. Her aunt gave her the phone to talk to him. He told her he didn’t like the idea of her homeschooling.

What the heck? What gives him the right to make any decisions?

She was upset about that. I told her don’t worry.

Since then, a few friends have been hounding her to come back to public school. They say she’s misisng all the fun…

Let’s see…fun?

Fights, sex talk, teachers degrading students in front of other students, girls holding hands and kissing in the hallway, drugs, etc….

Also, my daughter has Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, with her hands being severely affected as are her ankles. Several times she got detention for being late to class.

The one time when I threw a hissy fit they said she was late because she was socializing at her locker, not because of problems with her JRA. The fact was she couldn’t get her locker open and a friend was helping.

I was p-o’d!

Anyway, all summer she’s been back and forth about homeschooling. I went ahead and submitted my Intent to Homeschool letter and other required info to the school district. I figured I can always enroll her in PS at the last minute if I choose to.

She recently decided she wanted to homeschool. I have been working hard to set up some stuff she wanted to do last year…she was going to be working in the nursery at co-op for one period, help with the yearbook, do photography and maybe take drumming lessons.

The kicker? Yesterday her cousin, who is late 30′s and more like a Dad than her own Dad, started in….

He asked her why she would want to homeschool…she won’t have a prom and she’ll never get to go to a reunion. He had quit school and had to get his degree on his own.

He told her, “Don’t make the same mistake I made. You’ll miss out on so much.”

Number one, she’s not quitting!

Except for the prom and reunions (um…I’ve never cared to go to one…I can talk to anyone I want pretty much through facebook or myspace…) I can’t think of too many pro’s for public schooling…

I don’t want my daughter to have a cookie cutter education..I want her to learn what she wants the way she wants…..when you do this, everything else seems to fall into place.

My daughter LOVES to learn and public school almost took that from her.

As a matter of fact, I walked out to get a cup of coffee a few minutes ago and she was reading a biology book. It’ s summer, yet she was interested. BTW- she’s going into 8th grade and this was a high school biology book.

Anyway, now my daughter is adament (to the point of tears) because she wants to go back to PS so bad….

I was driving when she told me- she claimed she NEVER said she wanted to homeschool this year.

I didn’t take it too well, I cried….

…and got upset….

….and totally missed my exit and had to drive an extra 15 miles to get back on track.

I think she wants to go back to public schools to make Dad happy- maybe he’ll pay attention to her then.

Think she’s forgetting he hasn’t paid much attention in several years…

I think she’s also afraid of losing the cousin and his wife….they often take her to breakfast on Sundays and now and then to the movies.

Her dad’s brother and wife also take her now and then…

So now I’m thinking of maybe letting her go back and see if that makes her happy like she thinks it will.

My cousin had the same thing with her daughter…she homeschooled a year or so in her teens then wanted to go back to PS.

That lasted a couple of months, then she was back home….

Several people say I am her mom and I should decide if she goes back or not, but she has been so depressed about the issues with her Dad, and I feel I let her go to PS for 7 years before…if she had NEVER gone, maybe I wouldn’t feel too bad about it.

So I’m bummed. I would LOVE to have a talk with the cousin, but I don’t want to rock the boat as he is a part of her family and I don’t want him to get mad and stop seeing her.

So, my dear friends, what would YOU do?